4/28/2015 - I Lost

4/24/2015 - Trix are for Kids

Every time I eat peanut butter and jelly, tomato soup (because of SpaghettiOs), or drink 7-Up, I feel like a little kid.

4/21/2015 - I've got nothing on Cookie Monster.

...none of us do. 

Enjoy:

http://youtu.be/wBNJ0BH3Dgs

4/20/2015 - The Death Penalty

Surely, the best part of capital punishment is the last meal.

Mine would be steak. Classic. 

Or snail. I've never had snail. What if it's delicious...?  I'd like to know before I die. 

4/17/2015 - Piece of Cake

Every bite of cake should be that first center corner of the cake piece you know the part that comes in the center where the knife goes in first and it's been part of the cake and it fits on your fork the rest of the cake doesn't fit on your fork with that center piece from the center of the cake the part of your piece from the center of the cake that part is delicious.

That was a lot harder to explain that I thought it would be.

4/15/2015 - New Mexico

Sometimes I think about New Mexico. I wonder if Sasquatch has ever been there. What would he eat there? What could he eat there?!?  Who knows....

Mysteries, ya know...

4/14/2015 - Part 2

I had a dream that Jimmy John's was cloned by a velociraptor. The velociraptor then took over the entire metropolitan area. Meanwhile...Jimmy John's clone, Johnny Jim, expressed a desire to meet Bill Clinton. They ate sandwiches...until the velociraptor ate them.

I think your sister was in the dream? But it was this bald lady.

I don't really know.

I have to stop taking Benedryl at night...

4/13/2015 - Fruit

When you have a lot of fruit, but the fruit is frozen, you can make pies or smoothies. 

To make a pie, you'll need to preheat your oven...haha, I'm already exhausted. 

Throw that shit in a blender with some yogurt!

4/12/2015 - Alphabet Soup

Alphabet Soup is racist. 

4/11/2015 - Wax Love

Avocado?

More like avoca...don't you come near my sandwich with that shit!

They taste like ear wax mated with a pear. No one wants that. 

I blame California.

Irrational? Perhaps. But my gut tells me they're behind this...

4/10/2015 - I'll be watching you

Whenever you watch Giada at Home, just remember...God is watching you. 

4/9/2015 - Gas Station

Gas stations are like genies...

Your first wish is nachos. 

Your second wish is a Slushy. 

Your third wish is a scratch-off so you can make more wishes.