4/15/2015 - New Mexico

Sometimes I think about New Mexico. I wonder if Sasquatch has ever been there. What would he eat there? What could he eat there?!?  Who knows....

Mysteries, ya know...

4/14/2015 - Part 2

I had a dream that Jimmy John's was cloned by a velociraptor. The velociraptor then took over the entire metropolitan area. Meanwhile...Jimmy John's clone, Johnny Jim, expressed a desire to meet Bill Clinton. They ate sandwiches...until the velociraptor ate them.

I think your sister was in the dream? But it was this bald lady.

I don't really know.

I have to stop taking Benedryl at night...

4/13/2015 - Fruit

When you have a lot of fruit, but the fruit is frozen, you can make pies or smoothies. 

To make a pie, you'll need to preheat your oven...haha, I'm already exhausted. 

Throw that shit in a blender with some yogurt!

4/12/2015 - Alphabet Soup

Alphabet Soup is racist. 

4/11/2015 - Wax Love

Avocado?

More like avoca...don't you come near my sandwich with that shit!

They taste like ear wax mated with a pear. No one wants that. 

I blame California.

Irrational? Perhaps. But my gut tells me they're behind this...

4/10/2015 - I'll be watching you

Whenever you watch Giada at Home, just remember...God is watching you. 

4/9/2015 - Gas Station

Gas stations are like genies...

Your first wish is nachos. 

Your second wish is a Slushy. 

Your third wish is a scratch-off so you can make more wishes.