Filet Mignon

 Filets are like going to the beach and using the pool. 

Alberstsons' Pinwheels

Going to a grocery store to buy pre-prepared food is like going to Hell to farm rocks.

No one sane eats rocks and McDonald's sells Big Macs...in a DRIVE-THRU!

Winter is Coming

When it's cold outside, I like to eat fast food because it's quick n easy.  Also when hot out.

Texas

Texas is 5 times the size of Louisiana (probably, I'm not very good at math).  Texas does not have any cookies though...not one.  Cookie Monster ate them all.  When asked why, Cookie Monster responded:

The texture and flavor cornucopic Mecca that is the Cookie must be consumed with all the vigor and lust of life itself.  Leaving just morsel a drift and alone can only be rationalized a fever-mad mind of a lunatic. They must all be devoured in order to show God the respect he demands for creating such a gift to mankind.

Jk. He said, "ME LOVE COOKIES!"

S'more Dog Jokes

Hey FriendJon, did you hear the song Chocolate wrote about being in  s'more?

You listen to music, LolaBears? But you're a dog?!

It's a joke, FriendJon.

Oh Ok.  No, I don't hear the song Chocolate wrote about being in  s'more.

It was called Stuck in the Middle with Goo. Ro ro ro.

I wonder how marshmallow feels about being called 'goo.'

Ugh, it's a joke, FriendJon.

I know. Jk.  I love you, LolaBears.

I love you too, FriendJon.

My Ego

My ego is bruised, battered, beaten, and worn.

Bruised like a peach. The fairest of the fruits.

Battered like a fish stick. Caked in a mother's love.

Beaten like a egg. Homogenized by violence. 

Worn like, "Geez Nester, try getting some of the spaghetti in your moth next time!"

Plane Food

 Plain Food